Hallelujah (Generation War)
by cchickki
Summary: Charly (Charlotte) is adjusting to life as a field nurse, constantly nonstop and greeted day to day with the critically injured. Unexpectedly, her old friend Lieutenant Wilhelm Winter is brought to the hospital, badly wounded. Now she must make the decision on whether to tell her longtime friend how she really feels. Unsere Mütter, Unsere Väter (Generation War) - Charlotte/Wilhelm
1. Things Change

_'I've seen your flag on the marble arch, love is not a victory march_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah' _

_-Leonard Cohen (Hallelujah) _

* * *

A nurse's work was never done, that now rang true for Charly. She'd been on her feet for almost eight hours, but hadn't realized it until she started to feel the dull ache in her heels. She jogged through the once pristine halls, automatically weaving her way through the floods of wounded soldiers and overworked field nurses. The constant friction and pressure between her body and her thick, cotton clothing was starting to irritate her skin as sweat beaded and built up underneath the layers. She could feel her forehead begin to grow moist as she scurried through the halls; she was about to bring up her hand to hastily wipe the sweat away when she noticed her hands. She quickly glanced down – they were bloodstained. There wasn't one speck of her pale skin that wasn't colored dark red.

She groaned to herself, turning on her shoe heel then proceeding in the opposite direction. She usually didn't have time to wash her hands, but Dr. Jahn wanted everything to be as sterile as possible. She opened the bathroom door, revealing the small washroom and tiny porcelain sink in the corner. The sink had long-since been tainted and permanently stained crimson since the war began against the Russians. The dingy yellow light shown above the small cubical situated bathroom, casting eerie shadows that always made Charly feel uneasy. She swallowed deeply, bending over the sink as she used the last bit of the bar soap to wash off the blood on her hands. She lathered it all between her fingers and palms, watching as the suds began to turn red. She ran her hands under the facet, scrubbing as quickly as she could. She scrubbed and scrubbed until her skin started to sting. After she was satisfied, she dried her hands on her apron, wiping them off and shaking the water off of them.

She caught her reflection in the small mirror mounted above the sink. She tried to peel her eyes away, but the temptation of mild vanity overcame her resistance. Her eyes had dark circles etched under them from her lack of sleep. Her hair was done up tightly and hid behind a headscarf, as it always was. Wisps of stubborn hair peeked out of the sides – no matter how many times she attempted to pin back the extra strands, they always came undone. Her dark eyebrows furrowed in concentration, almost looking frustrated. She remembered back in '41 when she used to be carefree and jovial, but now her facial expression had taken on and morphed to a new default expression. Gazing into her own eyes gave away the truth, the monstrous deed that she'd done back when she first started and was far too eager to please those around her. Her own reflection might as well been openly taunting at her and pointing by the volumes her eyes seemed to speak. She couldn't ever escape.

She forced her eyes away, unable to stand under her own knowing-stare. What she'd done to Lilija was something she'd like to keep at the back of her mind, locked away forever. She wiped her face off with her damp hands, feeling exhausted and well overdue for a cigarette. She left the bathroom without daring another glance in the mirror. As she continued her way down the halls, she saw another wounded soldier brought in and left in a gurney, without an explanation. She had no idea where they were all coming from, it seemed like they'd spring up out of thin air. The amount of dying and battered soldiers that were rushed through the hospital entrance was a staggering number that made her feel a little weak in the knees.

Charly was immediately at the soldier's bedside, kneeling beside his gurney and taking his wrist. She pressed her fingers against his wrist, feeling for his pulse. She whipped out her stethoscope and pushed it against his chest. She listened to his steady and even heartbeat, hearing that he was stable enough to try to heal. He whimpered gently below her, tears brimming in the corners of his baby-blue eyes. He'd taken shrapnel to various parts of his body, including the side of his face. But he was alive and alert, which was more to say for the majority of the lost souls that entered.

"Nurse! I need another nurse!" Charly barked over her shoulder in the loudest and most authoritative voice that she could produce. One of the quiet replacement nurses rushed over, going to one end of the gurney. The two women heaved, lifting up the gurney and transporting the wounded soldier deeper into the hospital. After he was placed down, the young nurse, whom Charly couldn't remember her name, ventured off.

Charly did a quick sweep over his body, her trained eyes spotting and calculating everything she saw. She pulled up a tray with tweezers, bandages and tourniquets. They were running drastically low on supplies, so there wasn't too much Charly could do for the poor soul. She used a crate to prop up his legs, keeping them elevated above his heart.

"Here." She stated, handing the soldier a wooden applicator. He took it hesitantly, confused as to why he needed it. "Put that in between your teeth as a bite guard. We don't have enough morphine, so I can't give you any." She added.

She finished pulling out the shrapnel, cleaning the punctures with sulfa, then bandaging and adding a tourniquet as pressure to keep the bleeding stinted. He whimpered and whined in pain the entire time; the pathetic sound had gotten on her nerves, though she knew she was being unreasonable. She forced a thin smile, showing the soldier that she was finished.

"I'm going to give Dr. Jahn the report. You'll be fine." She tried to sooth. She stood up and quickly made her way back down the hospital. Her jaded smile falling as she faced away from him. She knew in her heart that he'd make a recovery, but he'd look disfigured the rest of his life.

Charly grabbed a clipboard and jotted down the wounds he suffered and the state he was in. She chewed the inside of her lip, stopping the pen strokes midsentence – she didn't even know his name. She skipped over it, going on and scribbling as fast as she could. She continued to run down the corridors of the hospital, the clipboard clutched close to her, hugging her body. She spotted Dr. Jahn talking to one of the head nurses, looking stern and terse as he spoke. She stopped before him, standing up straight and forcing herself to look awake.

"Doctor." She interjected. The older man turned to face her, looking a little irritated and overwhelmed from her interruption. "I've stabilized another patient, he may need to be looked over."

"Fine." He muttered, taking the clipboard from her hands. He scanned the notes and medical jargon she'd written down. "Take a break, Charlotte." He clipped, brushing past her.

* * *

Charly went outside, taking a deep breath. The clean air was a welcome relief from the overpowering smell of iron and foille ointment – the smells she'd thought she'd become immune to, until she stepped outside. She spotted Hildegard sitting in an old wooden chair that sat directly across the street from the hospital. She was smoking contently; watching Hildegard blow out a steady stream of smoke made Charly's craving even more prominent. Charly crossed the street, eager to rest her throbbing feet. Hildegard noticed her, smiling as her tired friend came and sat beside her.

Hildegard handed Charly a cigarette, already lit and waiting for her. Charly took it from her, gratefully. She placed the smoke in between her wide lips, taking in a heavy drag. She closed her eyes, savoring the cigarette and how relaxed it had already made her feel. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Hildegard's cherub face spreading into a smile.

"What are you so happy about?" Charley asked, not looking at her. She held the smoke between her fingers, letting out a puff of smoke.

"You've been working with me for almost two years and you can't figure that out?" Hildegard replied, her impish smile pulling tighter.

Charly barked a small laugh. "Have your sights set on another soldier? What is it this time? A lieutenant, a captain?"

Hildegard chuckled, taking a drag from her cigarette. "He's an officer, and a very handsome one I might add."

"Those are the only ones you go for, anyway." Charly commented, but not in ill humor. "I'm amazed that you haven't gotten caught yet."

"And I'll continue _not _to be caught if you keep your mouth shut." Hildegard teased. Charly's face fell. She thought about how she'd betrayed Lilija by telling the head nurse that she was a Jew. If she'd kept her mouth shut, Lilija would still be here too. Hildegard noticed the field nurse's mood change, shifting in her seat in mild annoyance. They went over this a hundred times before.

"You were doing your duty. That woman was a Jew, don't feel guilty about it." Hildegard sternly added, crossing her legs. She blew out smoke through her nose, keeping her chin held up in irritation.

Charly took another hearty drag from her smoke, hoping she could suck up all her feeling along with it. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. No matter how many praises she got for reporting Lilija, she never felt good about it.

"I know." Charly mumbled, answering just to get Hildegard and her attitude off her back. She stuck the cigarette back her mouth, letting it hang limply off to the side. "So, what's he like?" She asked, trying to change the subject back to the previous topic.

Hildegard seemed to perk up from the question. "Well, he's dashing! Dark brown hair, square jaw, dark brooding eyes. You know the type. His voice is deep and thick and dreamy." She swooned, fanning herself in feigned exaggeration. Charly grinned at her friend's excitement. "Now we just need to find a man for you." Hildegard added, raising an eyebrow in a suggestive fashion.

Charly's smile faded. She thought of Wilhelm. There was no one who could replace her old friend in her heart, and she knew that for a fact. Hildegard studied her for a moment, noticing her distant gaze into nothing.

"You're thinking of that lieutenant friend of yours, aren't you?" Hildegard questioned. She noticed how Charly squirmed under her knowing gaze. "You need to let him go, Charly. Either that or find some way to tell him how you feel. You should've done that the last time he was here."

Charly stood up abruptly, suddenly feeling anti-social. She wasn't in the mood for Hildegard's poking and prodding at her relationship and secret feelings for Wilhelm. She threw her cigarette on the ground, stomping on it to put it out. She marched back into the hospital, ignoring Hildegard's jeers calling out to her.

* * *

Charly sat down inside the hospital, taking up the rest of her break indoors on her bunk. She held onto the photograph, her most cherished possession. The four faces of her friends, and her own, stared back at her. Before the war, before they'd all been separated they were all so happy. She'd forgotten what it was like to feel that blissful. They were five friends, inseparable with their entire futures ahead of them. She smirked, they'd been so naïve back then. Now they were all caught up in the changes caused by the war – they had all lost their innocence.

Her eyes studied each individual face that was frozen in the photograph. Wilhelm was at the top, his lips pursed into a small smile. He was smiling mainly from his eyes, she could tell. Her stomach swarmed with butterflies as she stared at his picture. She wished she had the courage to tell him that night. Maybe things would've played out differently if she had. He had his arms slung around both herself and Viktor. Viktor, God knows where he was. Charly prayed for his safety, often hoping that he was able to find somewhere safe to go. Below Viktor's wide smile was Greta. The picture had been taken while she was laughing. She missed Greta, and hoped that she was doing well and that she was with Viktor. Beside Greta was Wilhelm's little brother, Friedhelm. He was grinning ear to ear, excited to be joining his brother in the front. How times had changed.

Charly sighed, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. She wished circumstances were different, that they could all be together again. She knew wishful thinking wouldn't change anything, and knew that all of their lives had changed so drastically that there was no going back.

"Nurse!" Someone called shrilly, waking her from her thoughts. She placed the photograph in her pack then headed to where the voice had called. She ran to the entrance, seeing that a whole shipment of newly wounded soldiers had been delivered to them. She scanned the faces carefully, checking for anyone familiar. Ever since Friedhelm had been sent here, she was cautious.

She did a double take as her gazed passed over one particular solder, lying on a gurney, clutching himself in pain. Her breath hitched and her eyes widened as she realized whom it was.

It was Wilhelm.

* * *

**A/N:**

**I just started watching Generation War (Unsere Mütter, Unsere Väter) and it's amazing! I have one more episode to go (I'm afraid to watch it), and I found myself cheering for Wilhelm and Charlotte to get together since the first time I saw them. I hope you all enjoy! I plan on this fic being two or three chapters long :) **


	2. Different Circumstances

**A/N:**

**Thank you bloodredcherry for the follow and the review! Yes, I thought the same thing! There's a severe lack of Generation War fanfic's! And you're welcome, I really did enjoy your story! I'm glad you're looking forward to what happens next :)**

**Thank you ImplosionOfHeaven for the follow, favorite, and the review! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story so much! **

**I finished the series two weeks ago, and it ripped my heart out. Sorry for not updating sooner, I've been so busy lately and have had very little free time for writing. I hope all of you enjoy! There's still another chapter or two to come :)**

* * *

Charly was frozen, stupefied at the sight of Wilhelm being in her presence. Fear constricted her throat, realizing that he'd been hit around the abdomen. Usually being struck by a bullet in the midsection was an automatic death sentence, but Wilhelm still looked like he was hanging on to life with all his being. His face and body was covered with dust, dirt and grime; his normally crisp uniform was tattered, and his hair disheveled. His handsome face was contorted in pain; his eyes scrunched shut as he moaned in agony. The other nurses hurried by him, not paying the Lieutenant any mind. Another sharp cry from his lips shook Charly's joints out of submission, jolting her back to reality.

"He needs medical attention!" She heard a nurse say, but her voice sounded so far away.

She had to help him, if not he'd pass away right there on the gurney, right before her very eyes. She dashed over to him, kneeling so she could get a better look at his wounds. He squirmed as she tried to pry his arms off of his body so she could see. He was far too confused and overwhelmed to recognize who it was or to even realize what was happening to him. She bit her lip hard, almost drawing her own blood. Charly had never seen Wilhelm this out of sorts before. He was a calm and collected man, but in here he was panicked to the verge of hysteria. Charly could see that he'd been struck with a bullet on his left side, the blood draining and pooling over his uniform. But he continued to resist her, struggling against her gentle hands.

"Wilhelm, it's me, Charly!" She cried, attempting to calm down her bewildered friend. She continued to wrestle against him, until she finally craned her neck and yelled for another nurse. She needed to take him deeper into the hospital and possibly restrain him if it came to that. With her free hand she dug deep into her pockets, hoping to snag a syrette of morphine, but her pockets were bear.

"I need a nurse! Help!" She bellowed again, fear ringing strongly in her feminine voice. She saw Hildegard round the corner, looking alerted to her call for help. She spotted Charly struggling with a patient and immediately sprinted over to her to assist. She kneeled beside Charly, trying her best to calm Wilhelm down.

Hildegard's eyes flew open wide as she recalled the distressed Lieutenant's face. "Hey, isn't this your friend?"

"Yes! Can you please just get me some morphine to inject him with?" Charly snapped. Hildegard hopped up and ran off to find some morphine. Charly turned her attention back to Wilhelm, whom seemed to be convulsing now. "Wilhelm, it's me! Please calm down!" She pleaded, but her words fell on deaf ears.

Hildegard returned, holding a single syrette of morphine. Charly snatched it out of her hands and stuck it into Wilhelm's thigh. His muscles gradually stopped twitching and his breathing began to slow to a normal rate. Charly placed a hand over her pounding heart, exhaling in relief. The two nurses picked up his gurney and quickly brought him deeper into the hospital to get him situated. Wilhelm was still whimpering in pain, but his face had become more relaxed while his body was less frigid. As the two women set the gurney down, Wilhelm let out a sharp yelp that made Charly's heart lurch. She was at his side, her hands working on stripping off his uniform to get a better look at his wound. She could only see one bullet wound, but his body was covered with bruises. She gingerly ran her fingers down his side where the bullet had entered, she sighed with relief as she felt an exit wound on his back. She started gathering everything she could to dress his wound with, jumbling it all together on a tray. She gripped the tray so tightly that her knuckles had already started to turn white; the equipment rattled as her trembling hands carried the supplies over to his gurney. She swallowed hard, looking down at Wilhelm's pained and crumpled body.

She knelt down, trying to contain herself. She never felt this afraid when it came to treating other patients, but she knew Wilhelm well. She loved this man and was so afraid that she'd mess up and accidently hurt him, maybe even kill him. With her shaky hands she picked up a bottle of alcohol and dampened a cloth with it. Charly bit her lip, hating what she was about to do. The wound had to be clean, if not infection could spread and kill Wilhelm in a matter for days. She brought her hand up to his wound then pressed the soaked cloth against it. Wilhelm's body jolted instantly, his hands clenching into fists at the severity of the pain. He let out a groan, one that made Charly shudder. His muscles tensed as she continued to cleanse the wound. Sweat started forming on his body from the strain, finally Charly pulled the cloth away. Wilhelm grunted, the pain still stinging his wound.

"I'm sorry…" Charly whispered. She placed a tourniquet on his wound, then bandaged around his body with gauze so it would be held tightly in place. She placed her hands against the newly covered wound, applying pressure so the wound would clot. She glanced down at her watch, timing herself for five minutes. Wilhelm's cries had started to subside much to her relief.

After five minutes, she pulled her hands away, seeing that the wound was already clotting nicely. She sighed deeply with relief. She stood up and went to get another cloth. She ran it under some water from a canteen then ran it back to her wounded friend. She gently placed the cloth on his forehead, hoping to prevent him from getting a fever. His eyes were closed tightly the entire time. She wasn't even sure if he knew it was her yet. She sat beside his gurney, watching him. She drank in his presence, somewhat happy to have him beside her, but she wished it were under different circumstances. Charly reached her hand out, wanting to sooth him. Her hand found his, intertwining her fingers around his calloused hand. Her eyes were growing heavy, her sleep deprivation was finally catching up with her both physically and mentally. She fought herself but her drowsiness was quickly taking over her body. Falling asleep couldn't be an option, not with Wilhelm in this state. With heavy eyes, Charly watched him like a sentry on duty, not letting her fatigue win over. The pitter-patter of footsteps rang in Charly's ears from behind her, but she didn't turn her head to see. She already knew what was coming. She continued to pretend to ignore the obvious presence of someone standing behind her as she kept her tired eyes trained on Wilhelm's form.

"Charlotte, we have a shipment of more soldiers that need care." She heard a nurse speak up from behind her. Charly didn't react; she didn't want to leave Wilhelm's side, even though she knew it was her duty. She pursed her lips, growing rigid as the felt the eyes of the nurse bear down on her. "Charlotte." The nurse pressed, more sternly this time.

She gripped Wilhelm's hand tighter in frustration; she swore she could see the crinkles beside his eyes tighten in a wince. She sighed in defeat, releasing Wilhelm's hand while standing up abruptly. Charly's stomach tensed unpleasantly at the fact that she had to leave her wounded friend alone. Charly strode past the nurse, casting her a wicked glare as she passed. As she marched down the corridors of the hospital, Charly's head buzzed with uncertainty for Wilhelm's condition. He was in so much pain, not to mention he took a bullet close to the midsection, too close for what Charly had liked. She shook her head, forcing herself to clear out her drowsy thoughts.

* * *

The dying men around her couldn't even shake her mind from Wilhelm. She could only see Wilhelm in their twisted, dying faces. With every wounded man screaming in agony for his mother, Charly felt herself become more hollow inside. One soldier had gangrene so bad that she had to hand him off to Dr. Jahn for amputation. She saw Hildegard prep the bone saw, making sure it was sterilized. Charly had to turn away, feeling bile rush to her throat. She hesitantly swallowed it down, clenching her trembling fists at her sides in a meek effort to calm herself down. Hildegard came up behind her, gently placing a hand on her forearm. Charly jumped, startled from the sudden touch. Charly saw her friend's dark eyes study her intently, studying every crease on her face. Charly averted her eyes from Hildegard's knowing stare, she could feel herself start to topple over under the intensity that Hildegard was silently unleashing. Charly's eyes caught that Hildegard was still holding onto the bone saw with her free hand.

"Go check on him." Hildegard stated, flatly.

Charly snapped her gaze in Hildegard's direction. "What?" Charly muttered.

"Go check on that Lieutenant of yours. I can tell you're worried to death about him." She said, cocking her head in the direction of the inner corridor. She was right, Charly was horribly scared for Wilhelm, and her duties had forced her to be away from him for a few hours.

Charly mumbled a gracious thank you before hurrying off to where she left Wilhelm. She weaved through the staff and the gurneys, her heart hammered in her head the entire way. She was so afraid that he'd been moved, or that he had passed away and was declared dead by someone else. The morbid thoughts only made Charly's mouth become dry and her already trembling body quaked with even more intensity. As she reached the deeper chambers of the hospital she came to where she'd left Wilhelm a few hours before. To her immense relief he was still lying on his gurney. She brought her shaky hand up to her chest, letting out a prolonged sigh. She watched Wilhelm's chest rise and fall as he slowly inhaled and exhaled.

"Wilhelm?" She said so quietly that she could barely even hear herself. He was sleeping so peacefully for the first time since he was brought here; part of her didn't want to wake him, but she _had _to talk to him. She wanted to know what happened and if Friedhelm was okay. She slowly kneeled beside his gurney, pulling up a chair and placing her hand lightly on his forehead, brushing away some of the loose bangs that hung over. He felt a little warm with a low-grade fever, but nothing that was drastic enough for her to panic. She removed her hand, feeling on the verge of collapse from the built up stress that had bottled itself up inside her all day; part of it was also from lack of sleep. She felt herself slump forward and her head start to loll, unable to fight back sleep any longer. She eventually succumbed to her exhaustion.

Charly could hear someone calling to her, the voice was sweetly familiar, but it seemed too far away and too hazy. Her vision was clouded and her senses seemed stalled. Where was she? She looked around, straining her eyes to see someone else, but she could only hear the voice calling to her.

_Charly? _

"Where are you?" She shouted, her voice echoing across the vastness of the mysterious environment. She blindly reached her hands out, groping for anything solid. "I can hear you, but I can't see you!"

_Charly… Charlotte… _

The voice sounded alarmed now, making Charly start to panic. The voice sounded so desperate, making her quicken her pace through the haze to try to locate the source. She knew that voice, she knew it as well as her own, but she couldn't match a face to it in this distorted mess.

"Where are you? I can't see you!" She repeated it again, fully aware of the strained crack in her voice. "I'm trying to find you, just tell me where you are!"

_Charly? Please wake up…_

"What?" She yelled, confused by the voice's words. What did it mean 'wake up?' Was she dreaming? She started to run, she could feel her legs pumping and her lungs taking in air as she tried to control her breathing. It definitely didn't feel like she was dreaming.

_Charlotte. _

Suddenly Charly's eyes flew open, she was no longer in the strange, cloudy world. She realized she was laying facedown on some kind of blanket, or some sort of fabric. The familiar smells and sounds of the hospital came flooding back to her senses; she sat up, noticing the dim lights and gurneys that surrounded her. She rubbed her tired eyes, letting out a small moan in exhaustion. The overpowering smell of eucalyptus filled her nose, and she knew she was in the hospital she'd been spending two years of her life.

"You were having a nightmare…" A familiar voice drawled. She froze, keeping her fists balled up to her eyes. She slowly removed them until her eyes fell upon Wilhelm. He was awake, his blue eyes open and staring directly at her. He was still laying down on his gurney. A small smile twitched at the end of his lips.

"Wilhelm!" She exclaimed. She had fallen asleep on her chair and had slumped forward right onto his gurney. She felt her face turn red from embarrassment, she knew she must've looked awful. She absentmindedly touched her face, feeling out of sorts under his kind stare.

"You must be tired." He chuckled, coughing slightly. She instantly lifted his blanket, checking his bandages. He took in a sharp breath, the skin around his wound was still tender.

"I'm sorry." She apologized meekly.

"No, no. Don't worry." He rasped, a content smile spreading on his face. She carefully peeled the bandages back, hoping that she wouldn't hurt him too badly. He sat up so she could reach all the way around his body. The tourniquet had held nicely to her satisfaction, and the wound had continued to clot leaving only dried blood around the bullet wound.

"The ballistic trauma you faced seems to be healing well." She interjected, happy to see everything was falling into place. He lay back down, his eyes never leaving her face. She could feel herself continue to blush; she busied herself with checking the rest of his body as an excuse not to peer directly into his eyes. Puce colored bruises littered Wilhelm's body, all around his midsection up to his chest. She glanced at him, asking an explanation in silence. Wilhelm only blinked, his eyes darting down to his own battered body. He looked reluctant to speak about whatever he went through. Charly studied him as he sat there in a thick silence. He closed his eyes, breathing a heavy sigh that made his whole body shudder.

"The war… it's not what I pictured, Charly." He finally said. He looked over at his friend as she waited patiently for him to continue. "I don't want to tell you the stories, they're far too gruesome."

Charly scoffed. Wilhelm's brows furrowed, he gave her a quizzical look. It was far too late for her innocence to be tarnished, she'd lost her innocence to war two years ago when she'd become a field nurse.

"I've seen every kind of wounded and mentally unstable soldier. I'm used to the gruesome nature of war." Charly told him. She didn't want him to view her as a child, she wanted him to see her as a grown woman that had endured and witnessed the suffering that this war was bringing.

His face softened with her response. He looked almost sad by her words. "I wish things hadn't of changed, Charly."

Charly took a canteen of water off one of the stands, holding it out to him. "You need to drink some water." She suggested. He took a few grateful sips, then handed it back to her. He looked disgruntled now; Charly bit her lip, her mind reeling with a topic to discuss. "How's Friedhelm?" She asked, attempting to change the subject.

Wilhelm swallowed hard, she watched his Adam's apple bob up and down. His hesitation to answer her made her nervous. Did something happen to Friedhelm? Her heart constricted with the thought of his younger brother, her good friend, dying on the front.

"How's Friedhelm?" Charly pressed, unable to take the uncertainty any longer.

"When I was taken off the line, he was fine." He muttered, his voice weak. "I'm just… worried. I don't like not being able to keep an eye on him." She could feel her heart physically lurch at how saddened he looked. She wanted nothing but to hug him, just hold him for hours and tell him 'it's all right', but she couldn't.

"Charlotte." A terse voice spoke up from behind her. Charly turned her head to see Dr. Jahn standing idly by, his posture exhausted from being overworked. She swallowed thickly, standing up in front of him to appear professional. "You need to get some sleep." He added.

"But-" She started to protest.

"I can't have you assisting with patients when you haven't slept, it's not safe. Go get some sleep." He interrupted, sharply. Charly glanced back at Wilhelm, his eyes flickered back and forth between her and the doctor. She sighed, not wanting to leave Wilhelm's side, but she knew she didn't have a choice. She nodded curtly to Dr. Jahn, then proceeded to her quarters. She stole one last glance at Wilhelm; he was staring at her, tiredly as she retreated deeper and deeper into the hospital.

* * *

The crowded, barrack-like room was dim and the bunks were uncomfortable. Charly had grown accustomed to sleeping on the thin mattresses for two years, but tonight seemed especially hard. She pulled her thin, wooly blanket over her, tossing and turning as she tried to get comfortable. She'd fluffed her pillow so many times, but nothing was working. Charly had been so tired before she arrived, but her mind wouldn't stop thinking of Wilhelm. She clenched her eyes shut, burying her face in her pillow to try to smother the sleep into herself. She felt her hair fall around her shoulders, and her blanket tug forward as she held it, now only covering half of her body. Charly sighed in defeat. She flipped back over and laid on her back, hearing the springs from the bunk squeak harshly as her weight shifted. She stifled a yawn, drawing her hands up to her face. Her body buzzed with a mixture of exhaustion and anxiety; she was so worried about Wilhelm that she couldn't fall asleep, no matter how tired she was. Her senses were very in tuned to those around her, she could hear the steady breathing of the other nurses around her, coughing from the next room, the buzzing from the dim lights that hung from the high ceiling of the room. She glanced toward the shelves that lined the walls of the room, holding the personal items that the nurses had brought with them from their homes. Charly thought of the photograph and felt her stomach and head swim with the sickly heavy feeling of nostalgia. Wilhelm's words repeated again and again in her subconscious, making her feel even more restless than before.

_'I wish things hadn't of changed, Charly.'_

She let out a low groan, her emotions were practically eating her alive as she lay on her bunk. Sleepless nights were not uncommon, but tonight felt longer than normal. Knowing that Wilhelm was in the same vicinity as her, wounded and hurt was unbearable. She wanted nothing more than to spring out of her bunk and run to him and make sure he was safe and sound. She longed to be next to him; she _needed _to be beside him, even if it meant a harsh scolding from Dr. Jahn. She pushed her covers off of her and swung her legs over the side of her bunk. She gingerly clutched the side of her head, feeling it spin from sitting up too quickly. Charly took a deep breath, not believing what she was about to do. She stood up and quietly weaved her way around the other bunks, careful not to wake up any of the other nurses. She didn't even bother changing out of her nightgown, all she knew is that she had to get to Wilhelm. 


	3. Taken

**A/N:**

**Thank you ImplosionofHeaven for another review! You never know, I might make it a few more than just three or four chapters, I'm just deciding the length of each one. Ahh, I didn't know they were dating in real life! That makes the relationship even sweeter! :D **

**Thank you Guest for the review! **

**Thank you swaggeringonthepriomiseoflife for the story follow and for adding me to your author alerts! **

**Thank you lovajsa for the story follow! **

**Thank you Marlow Tate for the story follow! **

**Sorry for not updating in awhile! I've been so busy and have been working on more than one fic at a time, not to mention motivation has been lacking. I hope all of you enjoy this chapter! :)**

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The corridors were dark, Charly was navigating blindly by memory as she weaved her way through the hospital. She attempted to be as quiet as she could, taking light steps as she made her way to Wilhelm. She lifted the skirt of her nightgown up as she walked, praying it wouldn't get snagged on anything. As she hastily made her way through, she stubbed her toe on the edge of a gurney. She kneeled down, silently cursing herself as she waited for the pain to cease. Charly clutched her throbbing toe nervously glancing behind her to make sure no one heard her. She held her breath as the seconds went by until she felt it was safe. There were a few nurses awake that would be wandering the halls, watching over the patients during the nighttime hours. Part of Charly wished she'd drawn the nightshift short-straw today, knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep knowing Wilhelm was in the same vicinity as her. She finally willed herself to stand up as she continued through the corridors of the hospital. A few oil lamps were lit, but it wasn't enough to cast light on the large shadows that darkened the area of the hospital.

The scuffle of footsteps made Charly halt in place, holding her breath as she listened for whoever it was to come closer. She pressed her body up against one of the walls before rounding the corner, biting her lip as the pitter-patter continued down the floor. She couldn't see who it was, but she could tell by the lightness of the steps that it was one of the nurses. Charly listened intently, hearing the sound of a pencil tip scraping against paper and a clipboard. The nurse was taking notes as she checked on the patients Charly guessed. She glanced back down the way she came, squinting her eyes in a meek attempt to see through the darkness. She started to tiptoe her way back, hoping not to be caught by the nurse whom was right around the corner. As Charly made her way back, the nurse suddenly came quickly down the corridor, revealing herself around the corner. Charly couldn't move fast enough without being seen, she had no choice but to stand still and face the nurse.

The nurse noticed Charly, and gasped in fright, placing her hand over her chest. Charly then realized the nurse was Hildegard. Charly looked guiltily at her friend, her mind racing with legitimate excuses as to why she was wandering around the hospital when she was supposed to be asleep.

"Charlotte, you scared me!" Hildegard exhaled, still gripping her chest. Her eyes narrowed on Charly, making the woman feel only ten inches tall. "What are you doing?"

"I'm uh…" Charly stammered, still trying to find an excuse. "I'm on my way to the restroom." She finally concluded, forcing a chuckle to try to seem casual.

Hildegard raised an incredulous brow. "The restrooms are right next to the nurses quarters. You surely know that by now." Hildegard studied Charly as she shifted in place, averting her eyes down to her bare feet. Hildegard suddenly broke out into a grin, one that made Charly's stomach churn.

"Right! I just got lost in the dark. I'm very tired." Charly lamely added.

"You're going to see _him _aren't you?"

Charly felt her cheeks burn, but only shook her head, furrowing her brow as if Hildegard was crazy. "What? Who are you talking about?"

Hildegard rolled her eyes. "Well I'm afraid you're going to miss him." Hildegard commented, glancing casually back down at her clipboard.

"What do you-" Charly started, not understanding what she meant.

"Some Feldgendarmerie soldiers showed up about fifteen minutes ago. Apparently that friend of yours is wanted for desertion." She explained.

Charly felt her flesh turn cold. Her mouth gaped at Hildegard, unable to respond to what she just heard. It didn't seem right, surely Hildegard must be joshing her, there was no way some soldiers would come and take Wilhelm away for a war crime in the middle of the night. Wilhelm was a noble man and a good lieutenant, he wouldn't willingly take an unauthorized absence. She felt panic rise in her chest, she dashed past Hildegard, ignoring her shouts of protests as she rushed toward where Wilhelm was bunking. She rounded a corner, only to see a group of brisk looking soldiers encircling Wilhelm's bed.

"Stop!" Charly cried.

The soldiers turned to her, their faces cold and stony with little feeling. She watched one of the soldiers abruptly lift Wilhelm from his bed and force him onto his feet. Wilhelm gritted his teeth in pain, letting out a low groan. Charly felt her throat constrict in fear, they were going to damage him even further and reopen all his wounds. She took a step forward, but one of the Feldgendarmerie soldier's lifted his hand, halting her.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but you cannot proceed. This man is wanted for desertion, which is a crime punishable by death."

"There must be some mistake." Charly interjected desperately, feeling dizzy from disbelief.

"There's no mistake. This is Wilhelm Winter, is it not?" He replied, his tone hardening.

Charly's eyes flitted toward Wilhelm. His eyes were downcast and his head lolled over to the side as he struggled to stand up on his own legs. Beads of sweat formed as his breathing became intensely labored. Two of the soldiers were at both of his sides, holding him up from under the armpits. She gulped, unable to stand seeing her dear friend in so much pain. The soldiers started to leave, turning on their boot heels and heading toward the hospital entrance.

"No!" Charly screamed, chasing after them. There was no way she was going to passively stand by and let these men take him away to be executed. The soldiers continued to pull Wilhelm away, yanking him painfully by his arms. He moaned in agony as his body was forced out of submission. "You're going to injure him further! Please stop!" She pleaded, but her constant begging fell on deaf ears.

Charly reached out and gripped one of the shoulders of a soldier, trying to convince him to stop and listen to her. His head whirled around as his eyes suddenly flashed with fearsome glare. He glowered down at her as his nostrils flared in aggression. Startled, Charly took a step back feeling meek under the murderous stare of the soldier. In an instant he closed the distance between them, his fist colliding with her abdomen. Charly doubled over, her eyes flying open wide as all the wind seemed to be sucked out of her lungs. She collapsed to the ground, landing on her knees as she hugged her aching gut. Dribble drained from her mouth as she attempted to rasp for breath. Her body didn't seem to be taking in enough oxygen.

"Never lay your hand on an officer again." The man warned in a menacing tone that gave Charly goose bumps. The soldier left her toppled over on the floor and followed his comrades as they violently escorted Wilhelm away. She opened her mouth in an ill attempt to yell or call for help, but her mouth wordlessly formed words. She still couldn't summon enough air to speak loud enough to alert anyone who could be nearby. She watched in helplessness as Wilhelm was dragged out of sight. Tears welled in her eyes at the realization that she'd lost him forever.

"Charlotte! Charlotte!" She heard Hildegard's alarmed voice call from behind her. She ran over to Charly's crumpled figure, placing a concerned hand on her shoulder. "What happened."

Dr. Jahn appeared before her, gazing in the direction of where the Feldgendarmerie soldiers had taken Wilhelm away. He shifted his gaze down to Charly, whom was slowing gaining back her composure. She pushed herself upward with Hildegard helping her stand fully upright. The pain that had erupted in her stomach from the man's knuckles was now reduced to a dull ache.

"What the hell is going on?" Dr. Jahn commanded.

Hildegard glanced back between the doctor and Charly, whose eyes were peeled toward the hospital entrance. Tears drained down her face as her breathing started to become uneven. Hildegard observed her distraught friend, unable to explain to Dr. Jahn about what happened.

"Well?" He pressed, growing impatient.

"Some Feldgendarmerie soldiers took our patient Wilhelm Winter away. He's wanted for desertion." Hildegard finally managed to say.

Dr. Jahn let out a frustrated sigh. "So be it. Pull yourself together, Ms. Weiss." He walked away, clearly upset that he'd been disturbed over something he found trivial.

Charly couldn't contain herself any longer. She dropped back down to her knees and a strangled sob escaped her throat. She caught herself with her hands as her head dropped down. She succumbed to her grief as sobs took over her body. The harsh reality that she'd never see Wilhelm again slammed her all at once. Regret flooded her with little mercy as she lay there on the hospital floor. She should've told him how she truly felt before it was too late.

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**Sorry for the short chapter! I just wanted to update and get _something _out there so the story can move along! **


	4. Misery Loves Company

**_I'm so sorry for not updating for a year! I had this chapter written down as a draft forever, and forgot about it for a while. I recently rewatched the show again, and found inspiration to finish up this chapter. I'll try to make the updates sooner. Thank you to everyone for their positive feedback, and for still reading this story!_**

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_4 months later_

Charly sat on the steps outside the hospital; a spot Charly had grown so accustomed to, she'd often wander there unconsciously. She held onto one of the patient clipboards, doodling on the paper in boredom. She drew endless circles on the documents, pressing the tip of the pencil lightly against the paper as her eyes followed the graphite marks. Like the circles, her lethargy seemed to flow in a continuing motion, picking up right where her mood left off the previous day. Being a field nurse had drained her to the point where her personality had become a monotonous shell of routine, mixed with a permanent state of exhaustion. She was used to the aches in her feet and lower back; how her hands always smelled strongly of iron; how her hair always looked greasy; how her skin was always oily from sweat.

"You know, Dr. Jahn won't be happy to see you drawing on his patient records." Hildegard chirped mildly as she sat down beside Charly.

"Why? These patients are dead anyway." Charly replied hollowly.

Hildegard sighed in frustration. "You know the records still need to be sent to the commanding officers so they can be documented."

Charly stopped drawing the circles, casting the clipboard aside with a half-hearted shrug. Hildegard appeared agitated, as her posture grew rigid because of Charly's apathy. Charly knew the other nurse had something to say to her, she could sense the words forming at the tip of her tongue.

"It happened months ago, Charly let it go." She suddenly said, whipping out a cigarette and lighting it hastily with aggravation. "The Feldgendarmerie are nothing to mess with-"

"I know this." Charly cut off, her voice thick and dangerous like a warning. "I know what the punishment for desertion is." The thought of Wilhelm being stood up against a wall, looking completely helpless and small as if he was a boy again, made Charly's stomach twist in a painful knot. Even worse when she thought about the guns being aimed at him, and executing him like a common war criminal; Wilhelm wasn't a criminal, she knew in her heart that the desertion must have been some kind of mistake.

"You need to clear your mind. Dr. Jahn and Bridgette the head nurse is getting concerned with your ability to perform. Maybe you should go help clean up after the latest surgery in Ward A." Hildegard suggested.

Charly stood up without saying another word, brushing past Hildegard. Everyone had grown so uptight as the war dragged on, and Germany's odds in winning this war dwindled with each passing month. Charly marched her way up the stairs to one of the rooms in Ward A, and swung open the door, startling one of the new nurses inside.

The new nurse was a quiet Russian girl with a very dominant scar running down her left eye, all the way down to her cheek. Her eyes were dark, and her hair was a wiry blonde that seemed to frizz up every single day. She smiled meekly at Charly, whom ignored her, to start collected the bloodied scalpels next to the hospital bed. The floor was slippery with fresh blood, and the sheets were stained deep crimson. Charly wasn't even sure if this patient had made it, but honestly that wasn't her concern right now.

The Russian nurse returned to jotting down notes, taking down the stock of equipment in that particular room. She had the radio tuned to the popular song _Mein kleines Herz,_ sang by the great Greta Del Torres. Charly had run into her old friend Greta while she was on tour, and noticed instantly how her new glamorous lifestyle had changed her. Charly still cared for her friend, but right now she couldn't stomach the sound of her voice singing jovially on the radio.

"Please turn that off." Charly said, her voice flat, as she picked up the clamp and the scalpels and continued to place them in a bin.

The radio was too loud of the young nurse to hear. The nurse turned back to face Charly. "What?"

"I said, please turn off that garbage!" Charly bellowed angrily, causing the young nurse to become startled once again.

"Oh! Sorry!" The Russian nurse quickly clicked off the radio.

Charly picked up all the used equipment as quickly as she could, and burst open the door on her way out. She stomped down the corridors of the hospital, clinging tightly to the dirtied bin as she made her way to the area where the equipment was cleaned. Hot water, soap, and a little bit of iodine is what the hospital had at hand to use to sterilize the equipment. She got to work scrubbing rigorously as her thoughts swam around angrily.

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That night Charly lay wide-awake, listening to the soothing sounds of the other nurses sleep around her. Occasionally a patient would cry out in pain, or delirious from fever, but she wasn't on the nightshift tonight. Charly herself wanted to scream from all the pent-up frustration she was holding inside her. Charly decided to get up and stroll around to put her insomnia to rest. She was careful not to wake any of the nurses around her, just like when she was sneaking in the dead of night to visit Wilhelm that one time several months ago. That felt like a complete lifetime ago.

As Charly crept through the dark halls, she heard someone whispering in a foreign language. She halted for a moment, recognizing the feminine voice, but not the words. It took her a moment to realize the voice wasn't speaking, but singing softly.

_ "__Vo polye byeryoza stayala,_

_vo polye kudryavaya stayala,_

_lyuli, lyuli, stayala,_

_lyuli, lyuli, stayala. _

_Nyekomu byeryozu zalomati,_

_nyekomu kudryavu zashtshipati,_

_lyuli, lyuli, zalomati,_

_lyuli, lyuli, zashtshipati._

_Paidu ya v lyes, pagulyayu,_

_byeluyu byeryozu zalomayu,_

_lyuli, lyuli, pagulyayu,_

_lyuli, lyuli, zalomayu._

_Srezhu ya z byeryozyý tri prutotshka,_

_zdyelayu iz nyikh ya tri gudotshka,_

_lyuli, lyuli, tri prutotshka,_

_lyuli, lyuli, tri gudotshka._

_Tshetvertuyu balalaiku,_

_staromu dyedu na zabavku,_

_lyuli, lyuli, balalaiku,_

_lyuli, lyuli, na zabavku."_

The song was lovely, with a gentle and comforting rhythm. Charly followed it, her anger fading and being replaced mainly with curiosity. Finally Charly made her way to a back room, lit dimly by the faint glow of a kerosene lantern. She saw the same Russian nurse from earlier today, sitting beside one of the patient gurneys, singing to him softly. The patient's face looked completely at peace, his eyes closed and his breathing steady and slow.

The nurse stopped singing abruptly when she felt Charly's presence enter the room. She stood up, looking absolutely petrified as if Charly had discovered some awful secret. Charly held out her hands to calm the nurse down before she got too worked up.

"It's okay, don't panic. I was just taking a walk when I heard your singing." Charly explained softly, being careful not to wake the patient. She saw the nurse calm down, taking a deep breath with her hand over her chest. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"I was just afraid of getting caught. The staff around here doesn't like it when I speak my native language. It's the only language I know songs in, though." The nurse replied.

Charly smiled, taking a few more steps into the room. "The song was lovely." The nurse seemed a little taken aback by the compliment. "By the way, what's your name?"

"Sonja."

"Charlotte." Charly extended her hand, and the other nurse took it cautiously. "I'm sorry for how I acted today. These past few months have been really terrible."

"How so, if you don't mind me asking." Sonja questioned.

"One of the nurses, whom is a friend of mine brought up something that happened a few months ago, and it just brought the terribleness of the memory."

Sonja waited for her to continue, as if excepting her to go on with her story. Charly wasn't sure if she could tell this woman what happened, not that it was a secret, most of the staff had heard about it or witnessed it.

"One of my childhood friends… he arrived at the hospital with multiple bullet wounds to the body, and he was taken away by the Feldgendarmerie for desertion. He was a lieutenant." Charly physically had to choke the words out.

"Was?" Sonja echoed, her brows furrowed in sympathy.

"I'm sure you know the price of the war crime of desertion." Charly added gravely.

"Same as the crime of being a traitor." Sonja muttered, almost as if she was talking to herself.

There was a murmur beside the sleeping patient. The creak of bedsprings alerted the two nurses. They turned to see the other soldier, half his face covered in bandages, was coming to.

"Damn, we woke one of them." Charly cursed, going over to the soldier's bedside to try to lull him back to sleep. Something about his appearance struck Charly as familiar, but the bandages hid his identity. "Sorry, we're talking too loudly. Try to go back to sleep." She soothed the wounded soldier.

There was a croaking sound in his throat, like he hadn't used his voice in a while. It took him a moment to speak as he worked his voice. The word that came out of his mouth made Charly freeze over.

"Charly?"

Charly bent down toward the soldier, squinting to get a better look in the dim light. She knew no one in this ward would of known her, she hadn't treated any of them that she knew of. The soldier's piercing blue eye opened from his swollen eyelid, and a moment Charly's breath hitched as she recognized him immediately.

"Friedhelm?"

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**The song featured in this chapter is _The Girl and the Birch, _a pretty Russian folk song featured in the 2012 movie Anna Karenina. The Russian translation was hard to find, so I'm not sure how accurate it is. **


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